New in my heart

Later on I’ll write about how, let’s use Billy and Bob, my two guy friends that I see everyday at the same time, I like both of them and today I just got the feeling that they liked me back. One was oddly a little flirtier than usual, but I’m trying to be logical about it and I just putting out there that they were both just happy to have our group back, it was kind of a “long”break without them, you know?

Anyway, I’ll write more about that later. I’ll go into detail about how I first developed my crushes on them a while back . . .


Study Time….:(

Okay, so I didn’t write much over Thanksgiving break, because I was busy reading and writing my book, but now I have a legit reason for not posting frequently: EXAMS! My exams are in two weeks! GOSH!

I mapped out in Latin last period what 3 subjects I would be studying every night until the exam. Even on weekends! I know, tragic, right?

But I made honor last marking period  for my report card and my mom and granny were so proud, because I haven’t gotten it since like fifth gradeLaughing out loud , so I wanted to keep it up and studying for my exams will ensure that I do like at least a step above average. . .

I’ve been home since a little before 4pm and I’ve been studying since 4:25. I’ve studied Ecology for like thirty mins, dozed off for like ten on and off. Studied-studying-Latin as we speak, then I have to study History. I know, what a fun evening! All I wanted to do today was just read Invitation Only(A Private Novel by Kate Brian, 2nd book)

Just a side note: I’ve read all the Private Novels except for the new one Vengeance, there’s like fifteen or something and I just got the second one. It’s like so weird going back to the point in time where Read was just getting into Billings and she wasn’t all popular and Noelle’s bff. What’s even weirder is that Reed’s still in love with Thomas and not Josh. That’s like mind boggling to me, like I have all this knowledge of how the rest of the like twelve books have played out and now I’m in Reed’s mind before it all happened and it’s still new to me. Weird. . . .

A little too over you

I don’t know what happened! So I missed the bus at the regular bus stop, but thankfully there’s an unofficial one closer to my house so I caught that one. When I got on the bus I saw Kimberly sitting with Vincent and Drew saved a seat for me. I was thinking that’s sweet, but I don’t want to sit with you. I don’t want to be here. I don’t know what happened in the time from Saturday and today, but I just wasn’t feeling it today.

He was bugging me today, and I was just trying to stay to myself. Like in math and history, he kept looking at me, and I was just trying to be unappealing by laughing weird and stuff, but it didn’t work. Darn my good looksLaughing out loud.

Anyway, on the bus ride home, Drew got on the bus and was beginning to sit in the seat in the row next to me when that girl with his necklace pulls him up and says, “No, you’re sitting back here with me.” And that asshole says, “Okay!” If I hadn’t already so decided I was over him and he was a pathetic, shirt chasing, “big fat dorky”  loser I so would be over him then, in that moment. He just went with her willingly. Like, really dude? 

Anyway: I’m picturing myself in the back of Hunter’s car on a Saturday night. Lauren in the front seat, and my boyfriend in the front. Who is this mystery guy? Is there one?

God, why couldn’t my love life be simple?!

Totally in love….

Today I had one of my Saturday Sessions for Upward Bound with my best friend Lauren and her boyfriend Hunter. Hunter and I have been in the program since two summers ago and I brought Lauren. Anyway, let’s get to the fun part.

Afterwards Hunter drove us to McDonalds and we got 2 20 pieces of McNuggets, I know, we’re fat, lol. We stayed there for like an hour, then went to Hunter’s house for like fifteen to switch cars, then went downtown(the downtown mall) where we went to this Tea place, which was like stoner central, they have bongs for you to smoke tobacco in the back, it’s a really chill place that I can’t think the name of. There Willie, Lauren’s cousin, and our friend Jake sat in this tiny sitting area and just chilled and ordered a pot of tea and acted retarted. I gave four foot massages, and apparently I’m really good at it, lol. From there we came to my house and chilled for like fifteen mintues, Lauren got a text from her cousin Burgundy to come to the Ice Park(Ice Skating Rink). We made another trip to Hunter’s house so he could get money, then headed to the Ice Park. We all fell a few times, had fun, skated until 7, then I had to “come home”, but a heated conversation with my grandma occurred while we were driving up and down my street. In the end we went to the Mall, then Outback, but it was an hour and a half wait, so we decided on CiCi’s Pizza. After eating pizza, hearing Katie burp like ten thousand times, which was funny, and Burgundy hit Aaron on the back of the head(who she might like Smile), we went to Walmart and played but ButtTag, yes you heard correct. ButtTag, which earned us a few curious stares. That last for about forty five minutes, then we headed over to my sister’s apartment and hanged for about thirty minutes. It was epic, then Hunter wanted a drink, so we stopped at the 7Eleven so he could get a slurpy which he hasn’t had in like three years, then they took me home. Yay! It was so much fun. Today was like the best Saturday I’ve ever had, because I really don’t go anywhere. I usually stay home and read, that’s the kind of person I am, plus my grandma doesn’t really like being alone, but she can handle herself, lol. All the while, I was thinking that it would all be so much better if Drew was there. Funny, now that I told Hunter that I like Drew, I feel like I’m not scared to be with him. Today taught me that risking heartbreak is all worth it, because when your happy and laughing with your boo(lol)none of that matters. I looked over a couple times in Hunter’s van and in CiCi, and in the Ice Park and thought something’s missing. Someone’s missing. I want Drew right here beside me, because whenever I looked back at Lauren and Hunter holding hands and laughing I wished I had that. And Drew can give me that. Peace out, gotta go write/read. Or maybe I should watch Comedy Central to get a laugh.

Found what I was looking for

Yay! I’m so excited! I just found the perfect actor that fits the description of one of my characters(Daren Hale), he’s gorgeous!! Daren Hale collage2(Adam Gregory, real DH)Adam Gregory!

Anyway, my book is about this girl, Arianna, who is assigned to kill the guy(DH) and she can’t help falling in love with him. After he finds out she’s not normal, they have to flew their boarding school.With the help of Arianna’s best friend, who she use to be in love with, they escape to “safety". Arianna’s learns that her feelings for Daren have definitely grown and her love for Kale is definitely popping back up. Daren, Arianna, and Kale find themselves in weird and impossible situations where hearts will be broken, and lines will be crossed.

I hope to finish my book and have it going through publishing by May because I’ll be 18. I’ve been writing this story for over a year now, there has been many drafts, all completely different then the last. I hope you guys like it. If you have any questions about my characters, if you want an excerpt, or a playlist of songs that would go with their relationship just ask.


Better news

Just got the good news, well not good, but it’s better than what I thought. Turns out that the girl , still can’t remember her name, that Drew gave the necklace to has a boyfriend that I know and their happy. Still doesn’t explain why Drew felt the need to give it to her. Did he think it would make me jealous? Well, it worked. He wasn’t at school today.

Today was one of the most loneliest days of my life.

I missed him like crazy, and I have to wait until Monday to see him and then there’s Tuesday, but then I have like a week of not seeing him. What am I suppose to do over that time? I know for a fact that what I feel for him is love, because I have that gut feeling that’s longing to be near him. I can’t seem to stay mad at him for long. When I think of happiness it’s with him. When I picture the perfect night ending it’s us sharing our first kiss. Something light and sweet. Something rememberable.