You’ll See. . .

Caught in an emotional moment, I started crying. These thoughts and feelings poured out of me:

Being in love is great, but it’s also horrible. You can never be sure of what’s going to happen to your heart. Being that I’ve had mine broken twice. . .Well, more than twice, but by the two same guys, I’m not willing to risk all those sad moments for all the happy ones. I just can’t.

With that being said, I’m relieved to say that I will never go back to  Drew for as long as I live. He’s not the one for me, no matter how much he smiles at me, or flirts with me, or laughs at all of my tendencies, or makes me jealous even when he’s not trying to. Or how much he makes me hate him or how much he makes me love him.

I’m done.

But that doesn’t mean I’m heading down a one lane “Taco Bypass”. I’m not, I’m just trying to reestablish my standards. Not to say that T isn’t good enough, he is, but just not for me.

See, I’m from 95% All black neighborhoods, and kids swearing and calling each other “Nigga’s” everyday of my life since I can remember, and teenage girls smoking weed with their moms and getting pregnant. All of that surrounds me, but I’m not in it.(Literally, I don’t live in the projects, but I live behind it, or in front of it, depends on where you’re standing)I’m in a straight path to follow my dreams and deserve better than what my current world has to offer.

So, I’m taking it day by day, hoping that my time will come when I get my Prince Charming(James, lol)and leave behind my old, dusty broom.

Everything will fall in place. You’ll see.

(Gossip Girl gave me some insight, how pathetic does that sound, Winking smile


Better news

Just got the good news, well not good, but it’s better than what I thought. Turns out that the girl , still can’t remember her name, that Drew gave the necklace to has a boyfriend that I know and their happy. Still doesn’t explain why Drew felt the need to give it to her. Did he think it would make me jealous? Well, it worked. He wasn’t at school today.

Today was one of the most loneliest days of my life.

I missed him like crazy, and I have to wait until Monday to see him and then there’s Tuesday, but then I have like a week of not seeing him. What am I suppose to do over that time? I know for a fact that what I feel for him is love, because I have that gut feeling that’s longing to be near him. I can’t seem to stay mad at him for long. When I think of happiness it’s with him. When I picture the perfect night ending it’s us sharing our first kiss. Something light and sweet. Something rememberable.